Pausing to reflect: love & hate & heartbreak.
I'm nearing the end of writing my eighth novel, THE SOMEDAY GIRL. I'm usually over-the-moon when I finish a new book (and ready for a colossal glass of wine) but today as the words poured from my fingertips like water, I realized I'll be so sad when I finish writing it... because I'm not ready to say goodbye to these characters yet.
The funny thing is, I don't know if this new series will be as commercially successful as my lighthearted romantic comedies or my heart-stopping suspenses. I don't know if my readers will love it or hate it or even take the time to read it. Publishing, like so many things in life, is fluky and unpredictable. And maybe it was risky to write something character-driven and complicated, that doesn't follow any of the rules romance novels are "supposed" to abide by.
I don't know.
But the funny thing is?
I also don't care.
Because I didn't write this book for money or mass appeal. I wrote it for me. I wrote it for every girl who's ever cried into her pillow waiting for a text message that will never come. I wrote it for all the fuck-boys and man-children who think it's okay to be assholes just because they can. I wrote it for the amazing couples who still believe in happily-ever-afters despite all the statistics that say they'll fail.
I wrote this book for everyone who's ever been a Monday Girl, when she deserved the whole damn week.
Sometimes, people ask me about writing, about my books... and I have a tendency to be self-deprecating. To laugh them off or talk them down or hastily change the subject. But right now, in this moment, I can honestly say without a shred of doubt or insecurity... I am PROUD of these two books. So proud it makes me want to burst at the seams, do cartwheels in my living room, hug strangers on the street, sing Whitney in the shower.
I truly believe THE MONDAY GIRL and THE SOMEDAY GIRL are the best novels I've ever written. This heroine, Kat Firestone, is the most infuriating, frustrating, complicated female character who's ever crawled inside my head and taken up residence. She will stay with me long after I type the last words of this manuscript, far beyond the moment the final file is formatted and uploaded to publishing platforms. And, for me, that is victory enough.
Life is so fucking short, and most of the time it's a goddamn heartbreaker. So, revel in the little moments and the small victories. Sing the shower. Say hi to the cute guy in the coffee shop. Love your friends. Spoil your family. Pay the bill. Do something kind. Acknowledge your weaknesses. Celebrate your strengths. Make love. Make art. Make dinner. Change. Grow. Thrive. Try. Fail. Apologize. And never, ever, ever, ever, ever stop chasing your dreams.
In any case, if by some small chance you are still reading this "short post" which somehow turned into an essay... I hope you *do* choose to read these new books of mine.
I hope you hate them.
I hope you love them.
I hope, more than anything, they make you feel something. xx